MORE MAGS
While on vacation the past couple weeks, The Weekly Opine (TWO) bumped into MAGS the MAGA at the hardware store. As usual, it was an enlightening encounter.
MAGS: Aren’t you going to say “hi?”
TWO: Is that you, Mags? You’re wearing a mask...finally!
MAGS: Not because I want to.
TWO: Nobody wants to wear a mask. But it saves lives. Geez, your mask has the word “Hoax” sewn on the front.
MAGS: Trump says the virus ain’t real. It’s just a way to try to keep him from getting reelected.
TWO: Trump once said 15 cases would soon be zero. There are now over 6 million cases.
MAGS: Anybody can take it from 15 to zero. It takes a real man to take it from 6 million to zero.
TWO: Oh, is that it?
MAGS: Yea. And voting by mail is riff with fraud.
TWO: You mean “rife” with fraud. No, it isn’t.
MAGS: Trump should ask the military to guard the post offices.
TWO: I doubt the military will do anything Trump says, now that he’s labeled them “losers” and “suckers.”
MAGS: The loser will be Americans if Trump’s not reelected. He has saved this nation. Just look at the stock market.
TWO: Most Americans do not own stocks. Have you benefitted from the market?
MAGS: Not me personally. But my sister-in-law’s cousin’s friend from college made some money.
TWO: But how are you doing?
MAGS: Me? Thanks to Trump I’m barely hanging on. I lost my job last spring. It would’ve happened sooner if not for Trump.
TWO: So, you’re voting for Trump?
MAGS: Hell, yea! Make America Great Again!
TWO: I thought the new slogan is Keep America Great?
MAGS: America ain’t great. America is a mess. That virus, protests, empty sports stadiums, long lines at food banks. Millions unemployed. A huge mess.
TWO: Despite all that you’re still with Trump?
MAGS: Americans like a comeback. You can’t make America great again if you don’t make it a mess first, right? And who better to clean up the mess than the person who made the mess?
TWO: So you’re admitting this is Trump’s fault, not Obama‘s or Hillary’s.
MAGS: I’m admitting things are really bad and would be a lot worse if not for Trump. It is what it is.
TWO: You sound like a sucker and a loser.
MAGS: I am what I am. Look, I gotta go. Need to stop by the unemployment office on my way to the food bank. And when I get home gotta call to see if I can defer paying rent. And the internet guy is coming by to make sure everything works ‘cause my daughter is remote learning.
TWO: Sounds like a mess. Keep wearing your mask. Social distance. Good luck.
© 2020 Douglas Freeland / The Weekly Opine. All rights reserved. Mags the MAGA is the intellectual property of Douglas Freeland / The Weekly Opine. All rights reserved.