SAY WHAT? — The Weekly Opine

Will America’s worst person, who is also a criminal and credibly accused rapist, flee to Mexico? (Photo credit The Weekly Opine)

R. Kelly for governor?

OK, so some legal analysts and some cable news talking heads continue to posit that if Trump announces he’s running for president, he might avoid criminal prosecution. What the…? That line of thinking is crazy, irresponsible and preposterous.

What exactly are these numbskulls saying? Does this mean if Charles Manson declared himself a candidate for California governor the state would have let him slide, despite being guilty of grisly murders? Are these knuckleheads saying the so-called Trial of the 20th Century, involving O.J. Simpson, would’ve been called off if O.J. had announced his candidacy for mayor of Los Angeles?

Do they really intend to suggest that all R. Kelly needed to do was proclaim he was running for governor of New York and Illinois (simultaneously) to avoid being prosecuted in both states?

Stop it already with the pontificating about nonsensical loopholes that would enable Trump to avoid facing the music. Trump is guilty. And he’s a flight risk. Indict Trump and throw him in jail without bond while he awaits trial. Then send him to a lifetime in prison, after he’s rightfully convicted.

In the interim, someone please give America’s weakling attorney general, Merrick Garland, a can of Popeye’s fortitude-inducing spinach.

This week, MSNBC revealed that Garland issued a wussified memo to Depart of Justice employees. In the memo, written two months ago, Garland essentially paved the way for DOJ to go easy (if they go at all) on white collar conspirators who planned and initiated Trump’s attempt to overthrow the government of the United States.

As the saying goes, you cannot make chicken salad out of chicken shit. And so far, Merrick Garland is proving to be chicken shit. Yesterday, when pressed by reporters, Garland’s voice stammered as he said, “no person is above the law.” His response lacked authoritative resoluteness. (To her credit, Deputy Attorney General Lisa Monaco recently said DOJ investigations will not be deterred if Trump runs for president, so maybe she’s convincing Garland to man up.)

Joe goes low

No matter what President Biden does, during the remainder of what will hopefully be his only term as president, his legacy-defining photo will be his fist bump with Saudi Arabia’s thug clown prince, Mohammad bin Salman Al Saud. (Biden apparently, well, forgot that he called MBS a pariah during the 2020 presidential campaign.)

The fist bump seen around the world rates right alongside photos of Trump obediently groveling beside Russian butcher Vladimir Putin, and photos of Trump smiling subserviently alongside North Korean madman Kim Jong Un.

Not sure what Biden and his handlers were thinking – clearly, they were not thinking - but the fist bump image will follow Joe to his grave. And then the photo will live in perpetuity in any history books not subject to Republican revisionism. The photo will also make for a powerful image in opponent’s campaign ads against Biden and other Democrats.

With Biden’s gaffes stacking up like a preschooler’s Legos, I’m reminded of a song by the 1970s German disco group, the Silver Convention, who sang, “No, No Joe!”

Time for Tiger to stroll into the sunset. (Photo credit USA screenshot)

Enough Tiger

Tiger Woods looked brittle again last weekend in Scotland. For the second consecutive time, Tiger missed the cut at a major championship, this one at venerable St. Andrews, the most famous of the courses that host The Open.

Tiger desperately needs consultation so here goes: Hang up your golf bag, Tiger. You had a great run, in my opinion the greatest of all-time playing the game of golf. But you blew it with self-inflicted bogeys, like driving 90 mph on a dangerous, curvy road where the posted speed limit is 40 mph.

Woods inspired us when he gamely returned at the Masters. Now, after disasters at the PGA Championship and The Open, Woods has become hard to watch, a tattered shell of what once was. Tiger is not even a competitive professional golfer anymore, as evidenced by badly missing the cut at back-to-back majors.

Woods, who deserves all the blame for his predicament, could easily have finished his career – should have finished his career – with 20+ major titles and 100 PGA tour victories. As things stand now, I see him retiring with the same numbers he’s accumulated to date; 15 major championships and 82 tour wins.

I’ve seen enough. Tiger will not win again. And his legacy of greatness will be wrapped in a what-might-have-been, coulda, shoulda, woulda ribbon.