TALE OF THE TAPE

The tape don’t lie. (Photo credit The Weekly Opine)

Portending a knockout?

Taking a page from boxing, listed below is a tale of the tape for Joe Biden and Trump, the presumed presidential combatants in the upcoming November election. Below are 22 measurements along with corresponding results for Biden and Trump.

         Measurement                Biden                                                     Trump

·       Wife is…                         an accomplished educator              a parasite

·       Work wife is…               Kamala Harris                                Marjorie Taylor Greene

·        Bromance with…          Barack Obama                               Kim Jong Un

·       Political doctrine…      democracy                                     Nazi fascism

·       Trusted doctor…          Anthony Fauci                               Mehmet Oz

·       White friends…             “Saturday Night Live” cast              lots of felons

·       Black friends…              Jim Clyburn, Raphael Warnock        Kanye, Silk

·       Hispanic friends…       Robert Garcia, John Leguizamo        Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio

·       Favorite musicians…  Led Zeppelin, Mary J. Blige              Kid Rock, Ted Nugent

·       Favorite orator…            MLK                                                Hitler

·       Cult-like followers…   Swifties                                           MAGAs

·       His cult fears…              no one                                         Swifties

·       Favorite athlete…         Bryce Harper?                              horseback-riding Putin

·       Favorite sport…            football                                           cheating at golf

·       Favorite pastime…       chilling out                                     lying, stealing

·       He’s mentally…             slow, very slow                               ill, very ill

·       His kryptonite is…       a fast teleprompter                    intelligent women

·       An ex-friend…                none; everybody likes Joe               Jeffrey Epstein

·       Spends time in…          the West Wing                              courtrooms

·       Unfinished biz I…         a 2nd term                                    releasing tax returns

·       Unfinished biz II…        a 2nd term                                     Mexico pays for wall

·       Unfinished biz III…       a 2nd term                                     proof Obama not citizen

I dunno. The tale of the tape spells trouble for Trump. We’ll see.

© 2024 Douglas Freeland / The Weekly Opine. All rights reserved.